My Bucket List

Hi, I'm back... with a bucket list in my mind!
LOL.

Well, actually, it's not that I want to pass away soon or what, it's just that I want to share something that has never been in my mind until I finally turned 21. So, this is not really only about the bucket list, but it's more on how turning 21 has actually changed (and disturbed) my mind in living life.

Many young people say that self turmoils will eventually really bother you on the day you turn 21. I don't know if this is just some sort of suggestions given by people around me or not, but it's somewhat true that after I turned 21 last August, I started to think about what are the things that I have done and what are my plans for the future... that is already very near. Yes, in my mind, my future will eventually turn into life reality when I graduate from university next semester.

I'm not going to discuss about my plans for the future here, as thinking about it makes me feel nervous from time to time, for I will very soon leave this "unreal reality" of being a student in college. I'm not going to discuss about what things that I have done either, as I don't think I have done many significant things in my life especially for other people... ._. so, instead, I'm just going to discuss my "happy yuppy" plans before I die. That's what a bucket list is for, isn't it?

I know it isn't that important, but there's nothing wrong to be unimportant when it comes to posting on a personal blog... I guess.

So, before I die, there are five things that I would really love to experience. Please note that these things are apart of my main dreams and wishes, which is not included in my bucket list, for my bucket list is, according to me, the list of things which are based on the personal fun and pleasure purpose only, as I have mentioned earlier.

5. Watch Chelsea beat Manchester United live from the Old Trafford.
Before going anywhere further, please let me address my sincere in advance apology to my mates who support Manchester United. I have no personal hatred towards you guys. Really.

Ironically, this video shows Juan Mata's goal over MU that brought Chelsea on their away victory at that moment. JUAN MATA. A former blue who is now in... MANCHESTER UNITED.

I'm not sure why, but I just want to watch this derby even more than watching Chelsea winning the London derby against Arsenal live from the Stamford Bridge or even the Emirates Stadium. Plus that I have never been to the UK in my entire life, so putting this as my bucket list is not a mistake, right? Right?

4. Ride on a hot air balloon. 

Awesome, isn't it?

Anywhere will do for me, actually. Because the hot air balloon itself is already a special thing for me. But if I could choose, then Turkey would my my first preferable country to experience this.

Cappadocia FTW!

3. Watch Armin van Buuren live from any music festival.

A picture speaks a thousand words. A video speaks even much more than that. So, I have nothing more to say for this.

2. Watch Gustavo Dudamel conducting an orchestra live, anywhere it is. 
Young, handsome, talented and passionate, this guy has been able to inspire me (and a lot more people, of course) through his beautiful music. It might be just me, but classical music sounds different and rather profound under his command!

He also makes me think even further that El Sistema, which is Spanish for The System, the music program established by Maestro Abreu in which Dudamel is his protégé, can really uplift the social condition towards a country. Yes, people, sometimes we need to acknowledge that art can even be more powerful than politics!

Click here to read more about Maestro Abreu and his El Sistema program.

Dudamel giving his respect to Maestro Abreu

And if I were to watch him conducting the Teresa Carreño Youth Orchestra playing Arturo Marquez's Danzón No. 2 live, then it would be a freaking special bonus for me!

1. Visit Brazil. 
Especially during the Rio Carnival.

Or during the World Cup, someday...

Brazilian fans rooting for Brazil (obviousleeeh!!!)

Although technically I root for the Netherlands, but still, watching football live in the country of football... it would be incredible! Especially when it comes to the Netherlands beating Spain in the World Cup (again, I apologize to my mates who root for Spain. I must say that I have no personal hatred towards you, guys)!

Enjoy the parade, people!

Lawuh Boled and the Picture of a Real-Life Class Struggle

A short film is a form of medium that is honest; with its time limit, it gives the filmmaker freedom and creativity to turn it into something according to what they wish and what they have meant in the first place directly. Since it has less interventions if compared with feature films where there are more investors and parties included in the making, short films are able to bring out the message that the filmmakers would like to point out with the most suitable form for both the audience and the filmmaker.  In this essay, I would like to bring out how a short film is able to bring out the issues of class struggle and the abuse of power within the authority of the society. Here, I am going to use the film Lawuh Boled (Misyatun, 2012) as my study case. I will also point out the political and economic relationship of the film with the society in which Lawuh Boled portrays and how this film points them out.

Cassava, Structural Poverty and the Abuse of Power

"Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely." - Lord Acton

Lawuh Boled (English: Side Dish: Cassava) is a film made by a group of students from SMK Negeri 1 Rembang, Purbalingga, Central Java. It tells about Sutimah, an illiterate woman who was not able to get her raskin or beras miskin (the rice for poor people provided by the Government) since she took the wrong coupon with someone else's name written on it. Her Pak RT (neighborhood leader) did not help her in getting the right coupon because he was busy with his own personal phone call while Sutimah asked for his assistance. Because of this, Sutimah could not provide her daughter rice for that day's food and must stick with boiled cassava. 

Behind the scenes of Lawuh Boled. 

Bowo Leksono, the Founding Father of Cinema Lovers Community (CLC), a film community in Purbalingga in which Misyatun and her friends got their film education, pointed out why cassava is chosen as the side dish. "Simply because it's the cheapest food. In Java, it is how the identity is pointed out: when you eat cassava, then you are poor," he said, in an interview with detikHOT during the South to South Film Festival Awarding Night. Misyatun, the director and producer of the film, also pointed out that this film is related very much with her real life experience. "My mother's name is Sutimah, and once she was not able to get her raskin because she was illiterate and not being helped by her Pak RT to get the right coupon. The people at the Balai Desa (Village Hall) also did not help her with her situation, although actually they could, if they would."

From the explanation above, I can tell directly that this is a problem of the abuse of power by the authority, which brings unfortunate circumstances to the people. The word power itself is derived from the Latin word potere, which means "to be able". Power itself is described as being able to achieve what one desires using the physical, intellectual or even the combination of both forces. The source of power varies from wealth, position, knowledge, skills, expertise and information. In the film Lawuh Boled, the Pak RT who has power abused his power for his own benefits, leaving Sutimah with the consequence of not getting the rice that should have been hers. 

Lawuh Boled winning Best Short Film at the South to South Film Festival 2014.

Bowo admitted that the problem in which Lawuh Boled portrays is the problem that is very much related with political issue. In an interview with Windu Jusuf from Cinema Poetica, an Indonesian website that discusses critical thoughts on world cinema and film culture, Bowo explained on why many of CLC films are about politics. "I always give them freedom in making whatever they want. But when they come to me and talk about their ideas, then they are able to connect their stories with the social contexts. When you talk about poverty, you talk about politics: why are people poor? This is not about fate. They must be able to answer the question. There will be a long discussion. Okay, so poverty happens because of corruption and so on and so forth. They got this conclusion after they directly get in touch with the society." Research and downfield are the keys on doing so. CLC also believes that through film screenings, and not just filmmaking, people are able to get their political education. 

Lawuh Boled brings out the point of structural poverty, where, exactly like what Bowo said, poverty happens not because of fate but because the wrack of the system. This is a very simple yet close-with-real-life-experience example of authoritarians who abuse their power in the lowest level, which is the RT or the neighborhood. This problem then points out a question that can kick all people in the Government: how is it possible that our whole Government can govern the people well and clean, when the lowest level of the Government itself is already dilapidated? Just because of this simple action of Pak RT not assisting Sutimah to get the right coupon and instead is busy with his personal phone call, a family is not being able to get their right for rice and must stick with cassava instead, the cheapest food that even symbols poverty. This clearly shows structural poverty, where the happening of the poverty itself is much supported by the dilapidated system of the Government, in this case one person who abuses his power for his own benefit.

This film is so powerful that it is said after this film was screened for public, one Kepala Desa (Headman) must face his resignation due to his blunders. Lawuh Boled also won a lot of short film awards, where the judges always pointed out the same thing: this film is able to bring out the issue of class struggle and politics without having to sound and look preachy. It clearly shows how a short film is able to bring out social and political issues within the society honestly and actually bring an action after that. In this era in which democracy is being highly appreciated and everyone is free to contend, this is one of the most effective forms of medium that people can use to speak up and protest: film, in its audiovisual medium, gives more chances and opportunities to bring out the values that we need to bring out.

Resources:
http://cinemapoetica.com/clc-purbalingga-edukasi-film-edukasi-politik/
http://hot.detik.com/movie/read/2014/03/19/113346/2530185/229/film-lawuh-boled-kritik-siswa-sma-atas-krisis-pangan-di-desa
http://jaff-filmfest.org/2013-lawuh-boled-indonesia/

a new hello on an old paper

yes, i just feel like i have to update this blog for some random reason in which i could not explain.

i haven't been sleeping for almost 48 hours (minus two 20-minute naps, actually) for a combination of reasons and have been sleeping very late for the past week or two. it has started to torture me though -- all the heavy sleepiness, wooziness, physical exhaustion and even this feeling of uncertainty that has been coming to me for the past 2 days.

i remember last year, during the early even semester, i was hospitalised for the disease that i could not even identify until now. at the moment, i was sick, in fact i was very sick. i have got this kind of reddish spots all over my body and those were itchy. i remember it was combined with stomachache and painful joints, somewhat. i was off from campus for 2 weeks -- my pitching preparation had to be done during my bed rest time.

but before the disappointments came, i remember during me being very sick, i was full of spirit. i was full of spirit for directing (and i just left my producing preparation part, what an effing mistake). i was full of spirit for the class directing 1 in which i had to repeat (and i was satisfied with the overall class, honestly). i was full of spirit for working in aksara (remember i used to work in that gift and bookstore for 2 months). i was even full of spirit for the class film and society (the class that turned out to be one of the very few classes in which i got almost nothing, but let's not discuss this).

i was just full of spirit. i was even beyond my own control that i made myself clear i didn't want to be sick for too long.

and now, here i am, on my 6th semester, with a major film project in my hands and some other works along the way.

and i need that spirit i used to have during the early semester 4.

i don't know what's behind the reason of my currently missing, disappearing spirit, like seriously. i was trying to relieve myself during the (missing, disappearing) holidays and prepare for the next big thing that will come this semester. i was also full of spirit last semester (semester 5, odd semester with no major film production assignment) and i could feel like my passion is running inside my blood. even honestly, i enjoyed semester 5 so much that it was also one of the best semesters that i have gone through during film school years.

i have been telling my director that he needs to keep encouraging me simply just because i need it. i need encouragement. i need some sort of power that can make me keep going on. i need it like crazy. i just need it and need it and need it that i kept repeating the same thing for my own sake.

i feel guilty to my director who also said that he also feels the same way like i do, but with more reasonable and acceptable reasons that if you were him, you would probably experience the same thing. it's too long to be written, but i know that he has that right to feel the way he feels now.

but me? a brat like me? what reason could be acceptable enough for the disappearance of my spirit besides the fact that filmmaking might not be my expertise? after all, life is not always about just doing the things that you like or excel the most, right?

luckily, i have not been losing my passion for this project. producing is indeed a new thing for me. i can't say that i am fully ready for this. but i can say that i am stepping myself into it -- a good thing for a start, shouldn't it be?

(and yes, my true passion is film criticism, actually, just as what i have written in my media business and entrepreneurship assignment, in which i do not stop doing too.)

all i only need is to regain my spirit to continue going on with all the other things and also with this project. that is my goal: i need to pass this semester with full spirit.

with readiness and alacrity.

and with full love for what i am doing right now.

yes please, dearest spirit. come back to me and run through my blood like it's the early semester 4 or even last semester.